Monday, February 17, 2014

Ammunition for Cupid Part 2

Something funny happened at work weeks ago.  Photographers for the University come around from time to time looking for good department pictures for the companies intranet.  They want those smiley people that look way too happy about their job.

Most of the women don't want their picture taken because they know it will go on the Intranet and they might look horrible.  I don't like taking pictures much but recently I've come to tolerate it a little more willingly.  I've never shied too much from a camera.  I might stare at it rather awkwardly but I'm not one to hide behind someone else and act ridiculous about it.

Honestly, if you're THAT insecure, just wear a paper bag over your head 24/7 because everyone was looking at you off and on hours before the camera came out and you were fine with it.  You must have a phobia.

So the one dark headed guy is watching me off and on and then asks for a picture of me pulling a chart.  I pose.  I smile.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.  He turned me and continued.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.

I began to feel like a red-carpet model.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.  And then a show-pooch or something.  It got a little uncomfortable.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.

The two co-workers who were fairly antagonistic against me ever since I was inducted into the department began laughing.  They thought it was hilarious that I, not even a true employee, but a temporary worker, had been chosen and photographed for the Intranet.  I felt a bit like Cinderella on a pedestal.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.

And then right when I thought he was done- he thanked me and went back to the other side of the room to convince the other two women to have their pictures taken- he begins studying me again, and comes back a minute later:  "Hey, sorry, can I get one more shot of you doing something else."

In a moment, there I was again.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*. *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.  Wondering if I had some sort of unique photogenic face.  I never had anybody mention any such quality in me before.  *flash* *flash*  *flashflash* *flashflashflash*.

And finally, the torture was over and I sat pondering if I would ever allow anyone to photograph me again.
Maybe I should proceed to go about with a paper bag over my head, so as not to distract other drivers.  It could be dangerous.

But Valentines Day will sweep by me without any disturbances to my ego and self-image.
After all, if I had someone to spoil, it would be EVERY day.


Yahoo mail generated a random Valentine for me.  I thought it was so gaggy...I would share it.

Dear sugar cookie,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Your style is more memorable than the Grand Canyon. You are simply luminous; a god among men. I feel tingly and giddy at the mention of your lovely name. 

Yours and yours alone,
Yahoo Mail